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Wednesday, September 29, 2021

ANTI-ART ART FILM AESTHETICS :Fake Mockumentary Manifesto Entry

FILM DIARY

FAKE MOCKUMENTARY: An Anti-Art Art Film - JUNK FILM AESTHETIC

Introduction to Junk Film

The junk film aesthetic represents a deliberate rejection of conventional filmmaking standards, embracing technical "imperfections" and discarded methodologies as artistic choices rather than flaws. This approach values authenticity over polish, immediacy over perfection, and conceptual integrity over technical conformity. What appears chaotic or unrefined actually contains sophisticated theoretical underpinnings that challenge mainstream cinematic consumption.

Social theory can preoccupy the anti-art art film aesthetic by describing the junk film's role upon intellectualizing the junk film aesthetic literature according to the junk film manifesto (see junk film manifesto). When comparing the heterogeneous nature of the returning video, it is now a junk film synthesis of non-convention.

Among the counterfeit film street culture, the departure from junk film contains its anti-art art film pseudo-structure with a minimal deconstruction of fake documentary, leaving an open-ended, unspecific number of alternatives to becoming the unfinished product that is the fake mockumentary and anti-art art film. Parallel to such unlimiting boundaries of its observational film structure, by becoming a hybrid of stylized documentary and video art, it is thus fake mockumentary we see unfolding in the unintentional performance of sustainment of actions by documenting body endurance all in one take (see fake mockumentary manifesto).

Body Endurance and Performance Elements

The intersection of body endurance and fake mockumentary creates particularly compelling works. Filmmakers like Ryan Trecartin and Cecelia Condit have explored this territory through extended single-take performances that test physical limitations while maintaining the documentary aesthetic. These works often feature the body as both subject and medium, with performers engaging in repetitive actions or placing themselves in situations of genuine physical strain, all captured with an observational camera stance that refuses to intervene or provide relief.

The fake mockumentary manifesto is labeled by a series of obstructions that must attempt to be broken at some point to remain a fake attempt to fake something that's fake to fake what's fake to disguise the truth of reality using real street superstars who are the fake actors being themselves to fakely act their way through a discovery of mock performance with body endurance by blurring theater acting and performance art into the development of the fake mockumentary manifesto. Movie making absent of the script but not without the d-guard portal (the protective barrier between audience perception and filmmaker intent) of the mockumentary deconstruction as the attempt to create a legacy to a new film genre like the fake mockumentary, anti-art art film also known as another form of after-neo-dada film expression as well as the Acid Pop Film (read acid dream experimental video art film manifesto). Subsequently, a social and cultural disruption of reform is demonstrated for such anti-art art film based works maintaining a pretense of reality with improvisation or pantomime presented many times as silent films opposed to institutionalized film that follows a script.

On the one hand, it is more directly inscribed blurring the lines of these circuits of film genre with the new punk cinema movement connecting experimental film and anti-art art film by the communication of visual poetry as the avant-garde film volta of abstract expressionism action painting the moving painting with media-based artistic tools with whichever ideology does this anti-art art form explanation for another cinematic form of representations apart from plot or story from commercial movie conventions. Named in the junk film aesthetic are such as instructional video and computer screen recordings, both stylized documentary.

Neo-Punk Cinema and Influential Practitioners

Neo-punk cinema innovations reveal the close and conflictual contemporary exploitation of such film trends among riot grrrl and punk feminism depicting interpretation to be compartmentalized but too new for film genre during the boom era of Pink 8 style guerrilla film manifestos according to its digital and analogue film artifact type (see pink 8 manifesto). That of unhealthy aims to continue film structure without film form by not settling for continuity. Anti-art art film references the junk film aesthetic in particular accordance to the Pink 8 manifesto maintaining the feature film objective, rejection of green screen and inclusion of filming with camera phones and toys.

Filmmakers like Jonas Mekas, Barbara Hammer, and more recently Harmony Korine have pushed these boundaries by creating works that deliberately embrace technical "mistakes" as aesthetic choices. Their approaches reclaim the discarded, forgotten, and deliberately damaged as artistic expression rather than technical failure.

Digital Transformation of Junk Film

The proliferation of digital technologies has radically transformed the junk film aesthetic. Smartphone filmmaking has democratized production, allowing anyone to create within this aesthetic framework. Social media platforms have become distribution channels for micro-junk films, with TikTok and Instagram Reels often unconsciously employing junk film techniques through filters, glitches, and jarring edits. The intentional degradation of digital image quality through compression artifacts, datamoshing, and deliberately corrupted files has become a contemporary extension of analog junk film practices, creating new vocabularies of digital imperfection.

Outside the fake mockumentary manifesto that is also a Pink 8 style, it exists as a justification for film genre not to be taken over by mockumentary the way fake documentary has taken over the deconstruction of the minimal mockumentary selection.

Future Directions

The junk film aesthetic continues to evolve as both a critique of and alternative to mainstream cinema. As high-definition and technically flawless imagery becomes increasingly accessible, the deliberate choice to create "imperfect" works gains greater conceptual weight. The future of junk film likely lies in its ability to maintain critical distance from commercial aesthetics while continuing to develop its own internal language. As distribution platforms become more diverse and audience expectations more flexible, junk film may move from marginal practice to influential counter-cinema, challenging not just how films are made but how they are received, interpreted, and valued within broader cultural contexts.




FAKE MOCKUMENTARY MANIFESTO

1.A fake mockumentary film is a dream
2.A fake mockumentary film is often a no budget film
3.A fake mockumentary film encourages a broken narrative or non-narrative film (no plot)
4.A fake mockumentary film often has a Lo-fi Aesthetic
5 The fakes whats fake
6.Short films are encouraged and acting/performance without dialogue is frequent
7.Usually informal screenplays are not learned in their entirety or not needed at all to maintain a pretense of reality, improvisation is typical
8.A mock document is suggested to prepare your fake mockumentary
9.Unborn stereotypes or "outsiders" are encouraged to be the protagonists and archetypal figures that replace the actors who then perform as the fake actors (street super stars)
10.Mock Documentaries rarely have laugh tracks, therefore, a fake mockumentary should encourage a fake studio audience applause, laugh track, or experimental sound effects (noise or industrial music)
11.Fake mockumentaries are thought as deconstructed mockumentary films of stylized documentary and video art like experimental hybrid film
12.A fake mockumentary is usually “associated” with committing hypothetical crime
13.A Fake mockumentary is typically a Guerrilla film
14.Typically the persons in your film are pre-occupied with Mock performance (a blurring of the lines between performance art and acting by maintaining a pretense of reality) at times body endurance
15.When producing a fake mockumentary, you must break two obstructions stated in this manifesto before it can be considered a fake mockumentary

FILM STILLS FROM
THE JESUS MONSTER

                             





                               




JUNK FILM POETRY JOURNAL

Entry: JESUS PRACTICE - Dissection of Fake Mockumentary Consciousness

April 30, 2025

dear acid junk film diary,

today i watched BIRTHDAY GURL's "JESUS PRACTICE" again. beauty found in mistakes—chaotic perfection of junk aesthetics. the PINK 8 guerrilla approach bleeds through screen like forgotten memories. LAURA GRACE ROBLES manifesto of fake mockumentary blurs lines between stylized documentary and video art. mistakes are perfect and beautiful and beauty found within ugliness and koas.

10:17 AM: outside my window suburban decay mirrors SAM MANDELBAUM's cross-dressed JESUS LEE LANE MC BERRNIN MC BEE character. identity fractures in gender performance—unscripted sustainment actions testing body endurance. one camera. one take. no interruptions. this is why junk film matters.

42 minutes. silent guerrilla film. DIY junk film street culture compiling punk cinema. gender role plays cross-dresser named after jewish son of god—divine archetypal reference of christian symbolism. traveling quest for identity.

the unpolished real:

  • rotten bananas
  • pill bottles
  • counterfeit cash as props becoming divine symbols through degradation

vicious fittings of fixed pork props. one cue to next. object-improvised sequence of actions. performance of sustainment testing body's endurance. nude performance in public space nominates counterfeit materials. continuous rolling camera mandatory factor—no interruptions or cuts.

jesus role-playing his own subconscious. androgynous christ-figure tucked away in suburban disintegration. chain-smoking sensuality performing oddly erotic front-yard nudity. BIRTHDAY GURL camera never flinches from improvised identity crisis. mentally ill highly concerned androgynous young—actually artist in film.

the anti-thesis of rejected autonomy as solace christ sister child. ego desperate seeking altered reality of fake/real/unreal. realistically cannot be portrayed by real actor's lack of dialogue. unprepared confrontation with imaginary lonesome as socially alienated curious bi-sexual.

am i not also performing identity through fragmentation? scribbling these thoughts like unedited film sequence—brain shooting continuous footage without cuts.

SAM confronts subconscious with gender role playing. super romantic Disappearance of male porn star. tucked away in rundown suburbia chain smoking domesticatedly as perfect nude sensuality. odd sex drama in front yard calls him to wander encapsulated time. jesus imagines synthesizing male and female image—actually explores transgender symptoms of having no gender. fruitarian in parallel reality between future repletion among past and essence of present time. nostalgic as the now dictating dream state of vividness.

SAM's bare-lesbian-irrational-OCD toothbrushing performance haunts my thoughts. transgressive boundary between homosexuality and family values through christian rebellion. brushing teeth in bed in machismo chin and butt cheek day dreaming routine. gazing into mirror holding broken glass. torn grandmother's dress. questions revolving conversations between christian rebellion to find misunderstandings of biblical text. self worth measured by either homosexuality or family values. socially declined lost self from social anxiety.

midnight thoughts: jesus looses time reacting randomly to disorganized cell count. not distracted enough for vaccine of becoming famous porn star advancing naked ass crack habit for female scarecrow dolls. stroking meat in poured pink paint covering entire body by unmet sexual desires within nonnative story.

pink bismol paint spills across jesus as makeshift porn star ritual. one-eyed female scarecrow cannot play electric guitar but dissonant lo-fi avant-garde organ distorts reality anyway. secret voices into open ends of music—unflinching and illiquid avant garde playing of organ with filters and effects to manipulate lo-fi mood. jewish son of god recalling strumming to help one-eyed bride in day dream of distortion. twig drumsticks on trash objects creating impossible rhythms.

pink leaking bismol paint spills over water base of pink hue and dark interior. masturbation continues to action in order to perform not orgasm. like mechanical walking robot boy the Christ son of god hallucinating away from whatever his christian mother cursed him with by naming him Jesus. christmas starlights holding freshly painted genitals and one-eyed Jesus monster dragging along crack of wheels celebrating long-awaited one eye separation from nutted naggers as gay experiment.

i too am navigating "unflinching and illiquid" existence. my own identity performance feels equally unscripted with each random reaction to disorganized thoughts.

related notes on other BIRTHDAY GURL film "Foxy Balls Donkey Sugar" operate within same junk film aesthetic—must document another day. DIY street culture of fake mockumentary establishes quoutendatent subjects without traditional storytelling.

junk film reflections continue tomorrow. must document more thoughts on BIRTHDAY GURL's fake mockumentary manifesto.

in chaotic clarity, [unreadable signature smeared in pink paint]

         FOXY THE SERIAL OF FAKE MOCKUMENTARIES






                                   



FOXY




FOXY JUNK FILM DIARY

Subject: DON'T KEEP STARING - Cyber Alienation Chronicles

Documented: May 1, 2025

technojunk observation log 47:

3:47 AM: FOXY POOPS CORN ROBOTS AT NITE ON HER CRACK POP poping corn robots at nite in paint! webcams blink red through apartment windows. they watch her. always watching her.

what new drug is she on? audience keeps asking. is this art film? deconstructed cinema vérité or mentally unstable breakdown captured in low resolution?

fast blurry self-awakening documented. debauchery in cyber space where extraterrestrial hypnosis convincing her that FOXY = her fake internet existence. not real. digital phantom bleeding through reality cracks.

dream pattern analysis #17: reoccurring dream intensifying for subject. webcams surround her alienated life spaces. dressing room. personal steam room. local grocery store frozen foods aisle. hidden video callers from unknown dimensions follow her through discount bin surveillance equipment. cheap pixelated voyeurism.

...HYPNOTIC TRANS STATE DETECTED...

survival requires three objectives for subject: (1) chain-smoking marlboro reds until fingers stain yellow-brown matching apartment walls (2) two-way mirror gazing—who watches the watcher watching themselves being watched? (3) video moaning into empty chat rooms where anonymous usernames flash green then disappear

technology OMNI-PRESENT in her fragmented consciousness. psychical alienation accelerating within subject. freedom dissolving through digitalization. technology overmastering human element. necessary to "humanize" technology through anthropological deconstruction. must overcome by embracing not rejecting this fake mockumentary junk film.

FOXY whispers through static: "your webcam addiction is the only authentic part of you"

who is she without digital validation? meat puppet performing for invisible audience? is she the corn robot popping at night? is she the crack where FOXY materializes?

observation continues tomorrow. battery warning flashing red. like webcam lights. like subject's bloodshot eyes. like emergency exit signs leading nowhere.

transmission terminated, [observer signature replaced with low-resolution webcam screenshot]


This, questionable two-way rendezvous happening on the camera’s other cyber side is a surreal webcam addict’s   abduction by extraterrestrial hypnosis. 


In the  dream state 
FOXY's subconscious records her video calls to later play back a cyber fantasy of tantalizing behaviors that haunt her just as much as an e-rotten banana. 

Foxy the Night Rocker is chased by a nightmare of paranoia built up by her delusions of grandeur where living a life preoccupied by insanity from staring back at herself into a two -way mirror at all hours is keeping her busy video moaning.

The treatment includes one major phase: (1) An online conversion of the video moans streaming into the databases of auditory noise experiments to objectify her video callers request of   night time activities using a plastic toy Tiara, a pack of smokes, and lipstick.

This fake mockumentary junk film shows  the video artist  improvising an unintended  act of body endurance where she maintains a pretense of reality.  In a dance of chatty,pantomime and head drama that displays mock performance it is blurring the lines between performance art and acting to break free from narrative.












FOXY: A FAKE MOCKUMENTARY SERIES

"Foxy" is a series of sixteen different short fake mockumentary films that Robles began filming in 2010 and completed between 2014-2015. Through creating these sixteen distinct Foxy films, she discovered an interesting paradox in her work: what she initially believed she was recording as fake documentary material revealed a deeper layer of artistic deception.

Robles had become fascinated with the concept that everything captured by her camera was a simulation of documentary - appearing to document reality while actually staging it. However, as the project evolved, she realized that what she was creating wasn't simply fake documentary but specifically fake mockumentary - a genre that deliberately plays with the boundaries between staged fiction and documentary aesthetics.

The distinction became important to her artistic process: while she had hoped everything she filmed was fake documentary, the more accurate explanation for her work was that it existed in the realm of fake mockumentary - a meta-commentary on both documentary filmmaking and the mockumentary genre itself. This realization transformed her understanding of the entire Foxy series and its artistic significance.


                     INTERVIEW WITH THE VIDEO ARTIST

Dexter Mock Duck: Ms. Robles, explain to us how you've unearthed fake mockumentary as inspired by Fabrizio's Pink 8 film manifesto?

Laura Grace Robles: A similar philosophy exists in both his and my Pink 8 film manifestos. We both pay respect to the DIY punk mentality and anarchistic views—ensuring Pink 8 cannot be learned in film school, particularly for filmmakers lacking resources but driven to create even without conventional equipment, as I once was. Like the Pink 8 ideology and its relationship to perfection, I believe when film mistakes are allowed, there is no higher perfection. My approach transforms video art into an experimental film hybrid, deliberately possessed by an aim to fail—making films that break boundaries in the way Fabrizio and I understand that continuity itself is wrong. The junk film aesthetic celebrates these "mistakes" as integral to the artistic expression rather than flaws to be corrected.

Dexter Mock Duck: Who is your competition?

Laura Grace Robles: At the heart of punk cinema's anarchistic ways, I don't compete to make films better than others. My films are simply different. I don't make films to satisfy critics beyond my own judgment, so I guess I compete primarily with myself. Punk is free from the unfortunate souls who believe there's no hope for understanding life as an individual who thinks apart from the normality of expectation and predictability. Thinking this way humbles my imagination and allows me to work with fewer tricks and more sincerity. The fake mockumentary approach liberates me from conventional filmmaking constraints, allowing the anti-art art film to emerge through deliberately unpolished aesthetics.

Dexter Mock Duck: How has your style evolved?

Laura Grace Robles: Only a street superstar could elevate hope for an uneducated commoner to blur the lines between acting and performance art—creating mock performers like the fake actors in my films. Now I'm exploring feature filmmaking rather than just the short films I was accustomed to making. This opportunity can be faithfully explored through commitment to either the Pink 8 style or by embracing a new manifesto, while maintaining the junk film aesthetic across an epic body of work. My evolution includes documentary deconstruction where body endurance performances are captured in single takes, transforming the unintentional into artistic statement through the fake mockumentary form.

Dexter Mock Duck: How are you confronted by film language?

Laura Grace Robles: I am absolutely confronted by challenges in my work. The film industry's rigid expectations about what constitutes "legitimate" cinema constantly push against my methodology. I face financial constraints that force creative solutions—using consumer-grade equipment, found locations, and non-actors. The distribution system remains hostile to experimental work like mine, relegating junk film to underground circuits and specialized festivals. Even within experimental communities, there's resistance to accepting fake mockumentary as a valid form distinct from both traditional documentary and conventional mockumentary. My most significant challenge is communicating the intentionality behind what appears unintentional—helping audiences understand that the "mistakes" in my films are deliberate artistic choices rather than technical failures. Despite these challenges, I MUST CREATE THE FILM PARADOX—a synthesis of non-convention that transforms these very constraints into the raw material of artistic expression.

Dexter Mock Duck: What is a fake mockumentary to you in one word?

Laura Grace Robles: A fake mockumentary is a dream—a dream state where subconscious records of reality are played back through a cyber fantasy of tantalizing behaviors, where the video artist improvises an unintended act of body endurance maintaining a pretense of reality while blurring the lines between performance art and acting.


     

FOXY NIGHT ROCKER


                                         

                                           

                                                   FOXY RACE CALL






FOXY REWIND


                                         


  FOXY BITE YO BA-HACK-ANANA






     


FOXY DAY OUT DEAD LICK


                                            



FOXY POP IT


     
                                                           
                                                               FOXY FLICK IT

                                             



FOXY-SOMETIMES YOU SPLIT


                                              



FOXY - WEB CAM TOOTSY 

                                               



FOXY- HURRY HOME GG 

         

"This hallucinatory bidirectional communion materializing across the digital membrane constitutes a phantasmagoric webcam-mediated trance ritual performed in the liminal hours of hypnagogic consciousness. From FOXY's mnemic substratum, her digital palimpsest unspools cybernetic reveries of seductive performativity that haunt her psychic landscape with the same putrefying intensity as those invisible rotting fruits that obscure both her archival presence and princely paramore.

The Night Rocker flees through corridors of paranoid ideation constructed from megalomaniacal architectures—her existence consumed by the infinite recursion of self-witnessing within the crepuscular hours between dusk's dying light and dawn's nascent illumination—yet this perpetual narcissistic vigilance proves insufficient justification for her containment as sonorous video-moaner.

This therapeutic transmutation encompasses one primary metamorphic phase: the alchemical transduction of digitized vocalization streams into datasets of auditory experimentation, incorporating quotidian talismanic objects requested by virtual interlocutors—plastic coronets, smoking paraphernalia, chromatic lip pigments—all recontextualized as semiotic hieroglyphs.

This thirty-eight minute and two-second durational anti-artifact manifests as intuitive somatic cartography—the video-shaman's improvisational navigation of unintended corporeal endurance, temporalizing the body's unpredictable phenomenological expressions that sustain beyond intentionality. The performer-as-medium transcends prescribed corporeal limitations through pantomimic cranial dramaturgy, dissolving the ontological boundaries between performative art and theatrical embodiment, liberating the artist from narrative determinism and into the realm of pure becoming.

FOXY ILL- KUMBIYA IN OUTER SPACE 


         



FOXY FLARE

                                              















Friday, September 17, 2021

Beyond The Mask By Birthday Gurl Anti-Art Poetry

JUNK FILM POETRY from the heart......."BEYOND THE MASK"

By Laura Grace Robles  Birthday Gurl

To know the feeling of beauty is to know
That you cannot trust the eyes of the mask we were born to wear

If you can see beyond the skin's surface and into the mysterious vibes speaking down to you from the sky
from ones soul
then you know beauty when you encounter it weather or not everyone agrees

Is awkward beauty beauty just the same
An anti beautiful awakening to the devil's evil good and gods beautiful imperfect mistakes that meets perfection from more than beauty meets the eye

As though we all wear a mask that shields our soul to protect us with asymmetrical skin

To cover a body and fill it with parts that do not contain what we believe is their

within us in an unseen hidden place signaling who we are beyond the mask that is our face

Dear Acid Junk Film Diary I Love You!!!

A Poem Today 

Anti-Art Art-Film Poetry


Enchants you with words

Two Lovers Floating By

Written By

 Laura Grace Robles 

Birthday Gurl


In a forest of your destiny
In a forest of your dreams
In a fairy tale
Lost in the mist
Among the depths of the earth
Passed the blackest of skies after sky after sky

Where one can be a lover floating by
Where one can be free
Where one can find themselves beautiful again no matter the gray wrinkles or hair that grows with our age

Where we find our self worth together and can become the courage that allows us to be brave once again
To find your dream lover floating by
In the forest you wake up in
Lost in a dream life as you and I become the two lovers floating by together among the falling stars
Lost in love
Lost
Lost
Lost in love with each others dreams of continuing to love one another

Together living in a fantasy

Timelessness intertwines our souls to dream
to love endlessly in this dangling ball of yarn weaving the unbreakable bond between us

As two lovers floating by
we hear our voice inside echo under the flying stars of our everyday confessions of love
May our love continue to grow stronger everyday

and if it were the perfect silver that is the perfect you and the perfect pink that is the perfect me let us be the stars of this fantasy

in this fantasy where everyday we wake up beside eachother and you look at me looking into my eyes and every time you say I love you
I melt

Twas then did I see my own beauty through my own reflection I saw of myself in his eyes when he spoke these words

and his spoken words of romance were left in my mind vibrating a deep connection connecting our magnetic skin

woven from this yarn that is our life of living together
woven into a cocoon of millions of tiny lovely little lockets locking our love in place

locked in a picture perfect moment to look back on as we comb our dreams of everlasting love

keeping us lost in time in a dream of ourselves eternally searching for the mysterious energy that keeps us alive

as we are still alive it brings me true happiness to be with you

in the same fantasy that is today yesterday and tomorrow and forever more

And as we hope it lasts till the end we silently thank each other for being there everyday with a kiss

And each time we look into each others eyes our memories build into this ball of yarn coming to life as you and I continue to unravel our love into another nite as two lovers floating by.



Thursday, April 16, 2020

Straight Jacket Film Festival 2020 ''The cure for the Corona Virus''

The year 2020 may be remembered as the "Lost Year" in Cinema, but the Straight-Jacket Guerrilla Film Festival stands ready to save us all. This innovative online festival operates years ahead of the mainstream film industry, curating the most daring and unconventional movies from around the world for viewers to enjoy from home—particularly relevant if pandemic restrictions continue.

Audiences will experience the finest in outsider cinema: from cursed movies and aviation disasters to African mafia narratives, conspiracy theories, Antichrist comedies, and the best of Experimental & Independent Underground Cinema. One might wonder if our minds are prepared for this year's bold selections, and if international circumstances will permit the festival to proceed as planned. In truth, this film festival offers the perfect antidote to coronavirus isolation—stay indoors and immerse yourself in boundary-pushing cinema.


Monday, March 23, 2020

ALICE IN ACID WONDERLAND A FILM BY LAURA GRACE ROBLES BIRTHDAY GURL VIDEO ARTIST

DEAR FILM DIARY

                                         
ALICE IN ACID WONDERLAND
 A FILM BY LAURA GRACE ROBLES BIRTHDAY GURL VIDEO ARTSIT
OFFICIAL FILM WEBSITE






ALICE IN ACID WONDERLAND

Reality dissolves as dreams become truth in this experimental acid-pop video art odyssey. A young woman named Alice slips between worlds after a mysterious mushroom experiment erases her memories, fragmenting her consciousness across multiple versions of herself.

Plunging down the rabbit hole, Alice navigates a dark rainbow landscape where her childhood companions—the enigmatic Mad Hatter and the elusive Cheshire Cat—await her return. As she journeys deeper, Alice discovers her true destiny: to ascend as Queen in a realm haunted by the tyrannical Queen of Hearts.

But what if Wonderland itself is merely another layer of simulation—a self-contained reality nested within countless others? As adult Alice transforms into child Alice and back again, the boundaries between experiment, dream, and reality collapse completely, leaving only one question: Is seeing truly believing, or is believing what creates what we see?

Dear Diary: Alice in Acid Wonderland

Tonight I slipped again between the cracks of consciousness. The experiment... that mushroom essence they gave me... it fragments me still.

I remember being both woman and child, my memories scattered like playing cards across multiple versions of myself. The laboratory fades, and suddenly I'm falling, falling down that familiar rabbit hole into a paradise of digital collage and acid-drenched colors.

This Wonderland—my dark rainbow adventure—pulses with strange familiarity. My old friends found me again: Mad Hatter with his riddles and time-warped tea parties; Cheshire Cat materializing from neon vapor, his grin suspended in the void before the rest of him appears.

"You've returned," they whisper. "Your destiny awaits."

They speak of queens and thrones, of power I'm meant to claim. But shadows lurk between realities—the Queen of Hearts with her rage and roses haunts the edges of this dream. Her laughter echoes through computerized valleys as mystical creatures scatter before her approach.

Am I dreaming within a dream? Or is this experiment creating nested planes of existence—simulations within simulations where I'm both subject and sovereign? I transition between adult and child with each shift in perception, wondering if my waking life is merely another level of the dream.

The reoccurring visions, the vessel of my consciousness floating between states—believing creates seeing, and seeing reinforces belief. An infinite loop of acid paradise where reality is merely what I decide it to be.

When I wake tomorrow, will I remember? Or will these words be the only evidence that I've once again visited the hypothetical self-contained plane where multiple Alices wander, searching for the truth behind the experiment that started it all.


DEAR DIARY: ALICE IN RAINBOW WONDERLAND

PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR GOING ON LIKE THIS IT'S TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!!

Fragmented thoughts like digital pixels rearranging themselves into new patterns of consciousness...

3:27 am Sunday March 1st

Being awake for three days straight has turned me to manic madness. I'm obsessed and intrigued by what's not intrusive about allowing the echoes of audio effects to give the dream ghost a shadowing voice to whichever Alice comes first.

I'm creating an unedited script substitution of anti-art dream pop film poetry—a fantastical dream mock document for Alice in Rainbow Wonderland, a motivation for dialogue commentary for Alice in Rainbow Eyes. This is a combination of favorite scenes from Alice in Rainbow Wonderland transformed into experimental video art film poetry.

This is my realization of the avant-garde. What makes this commentary narrate and maintain a pretense of reality while telling a story that explains the narrative poem that is Alice COTTON CANDY Rainbow Eyes in A Wonderland? This experimental film IGNITES our youth IN ORDER to realize innocence is timelessness.

Now I question what is timeless about the film and if that deserves discourse upon whether dreams are wishful thinking—questioning the realness of dreams when they are not fiction, unless it was a non-fiction reality that created fiction in the fake dream... is that fictional?

The dream perception experiment experiments with experimental filmmaking manifested by an abstracted avant-garde vernacular. I title it after an immersive experimental video art film making manifesto: The Dream Experimental Video Art Film Making Manifesto, written by the video artist Birthday Gurl celebrating the unbirthday party of computerized dream collage film paradise in a fantasy adventure with Alice in Rainbow Wonderland.

If you are reacting to a suspension of belief, it's probably fiction, but believing is dreaming within the dreaming of believing in vivid dreams. The dream perception experiment exists in Alice in Rainbow Wonderland as though it was not a believable non-fictional narrative poem—a motivated way to tell suspicious fictional storytelling, recreating the dream experimental video art film in an avant-garde cinematic spirit where the medium is the spirit.

The Avant-garde anti-abstraction of contradicting objectivity from a paradoxical outcome of dreaming makes the film question whether the dream perception experiment is a false awakening or its own dream outside of itself. It's as welcoming as the dream Alice has no memory of before she awakes to dream some more.

When she awakens in her dream to find herself in the non-fictional alternate dream reality, welcoming the un-welcomed in a fictional story of narrative dream pop film poetry of surreal anti-beauty. The abstracted tea party distortion of reality implies the dream is simulated by a dream simulation within a simulation of one's sleeping time, where the dream reality is an alternate dimension where the narrative poem told in the unconventional context of storytelling is a thought-provoking interpretation of dreaming.

Whatever is abstract is welcoming the un-welcomed. The dream ghosts are obviously masked to replicate their avatar Alice, who creates avatars of herself in her dream adventure down the rabbit hole. Without a camera, similarly in a different way pop film anti-beauty is within the awkwardness that you are attracted to when Alice intrusively attends the Mad Hatter's tea party.

I'm intoxicated by this dream and I still question whether Alice in Rainbow Wonderland is a poetical metaphor for the possibility that nothing is real and that life is a computer simulation designed by a teenage punk god filmmaker or by technology simulating a dream of fictional virtual reality.

The looking glass becomes a screen—digital, analog, quantum—reflecting back not what is, but what could be. Alice splits into many: Alice-the-curious, Alice-the-afraid, Alice-the-queen, Alice-the-child. Each one existing simultaneously across parallel dream dimensions, their narratives intertwining like DNA strands of visual poetry.


Note to self: Ideas for Interviews

Q: Dear Birthday Gurl... Hi I'm subscribed to your YouTube channel and I'm interested why you create dream mock documents instead of scripts only after the directing is done. What kind of dream pop mock document did you create for your new 2020 film Alice in Rainbow Wonderland... also can you explain what a mock document is?

A: I create mock documents instead of scripts because it makes your manifestation complete. It allows me the artistic freedom to not pay too much attention to order in regards to its post-production or production status. I'm excited about its journey to the upside down. Solving with a mockumentary document form is a truly experimental test to combining different ideas within manifestos by following a formula of methods or not. So when I'm done creating the film, I am not surprised that there is an unfolding evaporating story created by my unconscious—the way dreams are experienced. A mock document is artistic proof the dream to your film exists.

I would like to write a book based on the mock documents I have created to outline my films with afterthoughts remaining as part of my manifestos. In the aftermath of experimental filmmaking, documenting artistic realizations and questions brings me to the investigation that for the dream pop film, punk filmmakers and mock documents are in most cases all about connecting with your discoveries and documenting a fake reality of real dreams.

Are fake scripts that avoid pre-production the fakers of this mock document? Or is it the fake reality that I must escape that can be modified as a long chosen path to continue working on the film when I'm undecided on whether this is the end of manifestation or the beginning to a dream synopsis written outside of myself as an inscription of the video artist's commentary notes and a dream teenage punk film manifestation of anti-art dream film pop poetry?

The ideologies by the dream experimental video art film manifesto are written by this artist B Gurl living in a teenage dream, dreaming with Alice in Rainbow Wonderland, wondering what to write next....??????

Storyboard Fragment #42: Scene: Alice multiplies in a hall of mirrors, each reflection wearing a different expression. Audio Layer 1: Distorted clock ticking Audio Layer 2: Whispered counting backwards from 13 Visual Filter: Kaleidoscopic rainbow prism effect Symbolism: The fragmentation of self within the digital dream-space Note: Film this at 1/4 speed then accelerate to 2x in post-production for dream-like movement quality